An addictive spin on life, love, and the nature of reality
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Director, Renewed Strength
When will I find love? I've heard this question from twenty year olds and sixty year olds.
Heartache is funny like that. Five minutes of it can feel like forever.
It's natural to wonder. I'd be telling you a big fat lie if I said I never have.
Yet looking back and knowing my soul mission, I realize more and more how perfectly my life unfolded for me. And when it comes to attracting a soulmate, how futile it is to get too attached to the ‘when’. So...
I can't answer that. Neither can anyone else — and beware of folks who claim they can.
First the bad news. There are folks out there who will take advantage of your heartbroken and vulnerable state, encourage dependence on them and take your money in the process.
There are those who will readily answer ‘when will I find love’ to hook you in. There are those who will ‘poo poo’ others you sincerely seek assistance from as you explore. There are those who think ‘their way’ is the only way: they want to be your guru.
Now the good news. There are many well-intentioned people that can help you answer this question as well. These are folks who won't encourage dependence. They won't judge. They won't see themselves as your guru and will encourage you to explore.
They will seek to empower you, and are not attached to your choices. If you come across as dependent, or press them on the question ‘when will I find love’ they may even decline to work with you.
There's nothing wrong with consulting a trusted intuitive. I've done it and it's eased my heart and created within me understanding and hope.
If you do visit psychics, go in with a question like ‘what am I to understand about relationships at this time in my life?’ rather than asking them to predict. As I said — while they may give you a general idea, the good ones won't focus on the timing.
Think of the universe as an enormous vibrating field. Certain vibrations combine to create probabilities of manifestation here on earth. Some are higher vibrations. Others are lower. This is what ‘real deal’ intuitives pick up on and this is the source of our intuition. Energetic probabilities. Possibilities. Tendencies. Not absolute fact.
How this energy manifests depends on many factors. One biggy is our day-to-day intentions and our actions. In other words, how we engage in our lives. Manifestation is not a passive process. The answer to ‘when will I find love’ is not a passive process, either.
Your lover may come back to you, or you may be introduced to someone new. Yet, if you're not open or ready to participate accountably in your own life and the results you create, the results that transpire may not be what you imagine.
Some folks have a plan for their lives. Meet someone in their 20's. Babies in their 30's. Great career in their 40's. Is this you?
Sometimes, our souls have other plans. We can fight it (and lose), feeling exhausted in the process. Or we can ask the universe ‘when will I find love’, accept what transpires and do what we can to change things, starting with ourselves.
I recall a friend who used to say that if she wasn't pregnant by 30, she wouldn't have kids. She was very convincing. ☺
Well at 35, she hadn't even met anyone. In her late thirties, she had a full life and love wasn't big on the radar. Then she met someone. What did she do — send him away? I'm too old!
No. She changed her perspective, married him and had her two lovely boys in her early 40's. She would never have planned that. Yet, there was the luvly result — because she said yes to it.
Here's the jist of the research I've done. Soulmates come into our lives to help us become more whole ourselves. While we wait, one of the most powerful activities we can undertake is becoming whole on our own, while staying immersed in the partnership we know is already on its way.
Said another way: we're more likely to consciously create a soulmate connection when we're on our soul path. Read astrological soulmate for more on this.
Smoking, alcohol, addictions, sexual conquests, antidepressants and more... all of these things are attempts to avoid emotion.
Loneliness may come up and that's normal. If so, name it, honour it and re-affirm your desire for a partner. Know: he or she is already on their way.
Find yourself in perpetual longing? Longing is a sticky energy that doesn't support the law of attraction. First, stop asking questions that can't really be answered like ‘when will I find love’. Then be kind to yourself.
Note: If you are experiencing clinical depression, see a trained physician or counselor.
Does it feel as if it's taking forever? How does this feel? Instead of attracting the wrong person — again — and having your heart crushed — again — your soul has chosen to steer you clear of the wrong folks.
When will I find love? When it's ready to easily slip in to your life. He's out there getting ready for you, as sure as you're getting ready for him.
In effect, your soul is creating nurturing protection around you, creating space for the right person to come in, when they're equally ready.
Help him along by letting go of the ‘When’. Trust that the ‘When’ will be when s/he's ready to work with you to build a loving soulmated relationship.
Have you given yourself away in relationships? Stepped up to what s/he wanted, rather than asking for what you need?
What if, while you're single, this is your task: to put all the love you've given, back into yourself? What if your soulmate will come when you are so full of your Self that there is no longer a danger of losing YOU into another?
What if the answer to ‘when will I find love’ is revealed within your own heart — first?
It's natural to want to know ‘when will I find love’. But hold the answers lightly.
Don't get stuck on the timing. Do you really want to take charge of your love life? I heartily recommend Gay and Katie Hendricks' The Relationship Catalyst.
Getting over heartbreak – It's not easy. Here are some tips to help you on your way...