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An addictive spin on life, love, and the nature of reality

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True love story: Elmdea and John

An interview with Elmdea Bean

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Listen to Elmdea's true love story
“Relationships are truly sacred, not in the superficial meaning... but in that they call upon infinite and mysterious depths in ourselves.”
– Thomas Moore

K: Tell us a bit about your background.

Well, I spent many years attempting to live a traditional life. Was married, in corporate management, doing the things our culture tells us we're supposed to do. I got very sick in 1997, and looking back, it was my two by four from the universe. Because I wasn't listening to the taps on my shoulder.

So I turned my life around. Got out of corporate America, left my marriage. Glad I had the experience, very glad to not be there any more (smile).

Through some “coincidences”, I became interested in past life regression and thought: “I know this stuff”. I trained in it, and since 1997, have been working with people to clear their past and create their future.

K: I encourage readers to find their purpose. Is past life regression part of your purpose?

Yes, it's part of it. I realized recently though, the bigger part is writing. My soul has been saying “please pay attention”. No more two by fours: I'm paying attention.

K: Tell us a bit about how you met John.

Yes — John is my third husband. My first marriage lasted a year. My second lasted 16 years. Then I spent 13 years alone, though I dated here and there.

I had joined and I was pretty much ready to bag it. It was the same old thing and I was so tired of it all. Match has these five daily picks. I came across one man, and chose “Maybe”. This happened to be John.

In the meantime, he was at the end of his rope, too and had gotten off of Match. He signed back on for a month, when he noticed my “maybe”. He thought I might be interesting. We emailed for a bit, then got together for what he calls the inspection dinner.

There were so many things that happened that should have blown things up but didn't. I actually cancelled our first date and re-scheduled it. At dinner, we talked for an hour. Then we went outside, and sat and talked for three more hours.

We talked about things you don't talk about with people until you've known them a while. Honestly, it was really weird for both of us. Deep, intense conversations. He gave me a quick kiss, and we went our separate ways.

Driving home, I went through a red light. Hmmm... I thought. I really have to pay attention. Then I almost ran a second red light. The next day, we talked and he told me that he took the wrong road home.

Later, we realized that we had moved into altered consciousness, without realizing where we were.

Getting to know one another was intense, amazing, magical, frightening.

We were both feeling things that if anyone else knew... they'd say ‘hold your horses’, ‘slow down’. For lack of a better description, it was like the Gods, or our souls had a plan.

To help us understand what we were going through, a dear friend recommended a book that was really helpful to us, When Love Comes as a Gift by Paul Ferrini.

We met at the end of August. In the beginning of October, he proposed. We were married last May after knowing each other nine months. Both of us were kind of shaking our heads, and at the same time, it was righter than anything we'd ever done.

How long were you out there on

This was my second time on Match. I signed up for a year. I remember hearing that when you're doing the online dating thing, you may have to go through as many as 60 dates to find someone. For me, it wasn't quite sixty, but it was up there.

How long had you been on your own? What work did you do to define what you want before you met John?

I had been on my own, living by myself for 13 years. I dated here and there. As I dated, it became clearer. This is ‘yes’. That is ‘no’. What it came down to was I was interested in a man who had done his inner work, who was emotionally available, and had a spiritual path. Didn't have to be my spiritual path, but he had to have one of his own.

I also had ideas on what he looked like, what he'd do. Interesting thing, he meets those first three things, but he doesn't look anything like I imagined, or do what I imagined he would do. He is absolutely a different kind of person than I had ever dated before. Sometimes, I think we shut people out by clinging tightly to the side stuff. What's needed is to trust the wisdom of our souls

K: How did you discovered your past life connections?

For me, it was a two to three second thing. There were these fast flashes of the series of lives where he and I had been together. It was so fast, I couldn't really identify who was who. From what I know of reincarnation, we have been connected in many ways. Husband and wife. Brother and sister. Business partners. Parent and child. Grandparent and grandchild. Best friends. Quick flashes.

Did you believe in soulmates?

Well, I had suspended judgment on the soulmate thing. I had heard a lot about soulmates and twin flames. Now I think: maybe. I don't know. (laughs)

Many people romanticize soulmates. What are your thoughts on that?

Well sometimes, when we meet someone and there's a recognition, we make the assumption (especially if it's someone of the opposite sex and we're single), that this has to be “the one”, instead of asking: is this a soul connection that is to be investigated?

It may be that this is a soul connection that you recognize from the past — and the lesson is to walk away. We've all had these experiences. Sometimes walking away is the success.

K: While you were single, how did you keep your knowingness high? What did you do to get ready?

In retrospect, in so many ways, I wasn't ready at all. I had hope, but I wasn't pinning a lot on the hope. I did know that I wanted to be in a relationship. I had determined that the next step in my own personal growth could only happen in relationship. There are some things that you just can't learn living by yourself.

That's what I did to commit myself. Knowing that the next things I needed to learn could only be done in relationship. This past year with John has brought huge internal changes for me, for the better.

K: So tell us about your wedding.

We had two weddings. One was a Druid handfasting ceremony, based on an old Celtic, earth-based spirituality. It was wonderful, and felt right. The following week, we had a standard wedding, and one of my best friends married us. We invited family and friends to this one. Both in their own way were wonderful experiences.

K: What does it feel like to wake up with your soulmate every day?

John and I talk about this all the time. I can only speak for myself, but I am experiencing a quiet peace, contentment and joy that I did not even realize was possible. I hadn't experienced it, so couldn't imagine it.

It's wonderful waking up with him. Sometimes I'm cranky, sometimes he's cranky... (laughs). We don't need the other to be anything other than what we are. There's peace in that.

K: You've done some work with people who have experienced spontaneous past life recall — tell us about that.

I've seen a real increase in spontaneous past life recalls... these are memories that just come at you out of the blue. Someone might be getting a massage or energy work. It could be a dream. Or walking into a building or being somewhere you've never been. Or while you're driving.

It can range from being in a different body, walking in a strange place, to flashes of ‘what was that?’ It's different from déjà vu, which tends to be less visceral, less felt.

I believe that these are gifts from our soul... to help us in this pivotal time of change that humanity is going through right now. If your readers have had this experience, I'd be interested in hearing from them.

K: What are your thoughts on 2012?

There's so much stuff out there, it's hard to know what's real and what isn't. What I've heard and observed is that issues come up really quickly and are resolved relatively quickly now. In a larger picture, human evolution appears to be speeding up, our Consciousness rather than our physical bodies.

The question to ask is: what does your soul want you to do? People who are resisting this change are having difficult times. We're also seeing it, in the American political scene, with a focus on getting “Back to” “Back to”... rather than moving forward. At least that's one aspect of it.

K: Tell us about the past life regression sessions you do locally. Have your clients come to you with a true love story from past lifetimes?

People tend to find the therapist that's right for them. I'm not the soulmate or true love story person, I'm more the life purpose person and I do in-person sessions in Winchester, Virginia. I've done sessions on Skype, but I've learned that I need to be with the person physically.

If your readers want to find past life therapists, I'd suggest that they go to the International Board for Regression Therapy. This group is the primary certifying agency for past life therapists.

K: Thanks for sharing your true love story with us. How can my readers get in touch with you?

For past life therapy sessions in Winchester, Virginia, people can contact me through my web site.

I'm also interested in working with people who have had experiences of spontaneous past life recall and this work can be done by phone. If your readers have had this experience, they are welcome to contact me.

What's your last word of advice for readers who are single, and seeking their real life, true love story?

Two things. One is expect the unexpected. The other is... the dreams you have for your soulmate. Imagine that those desires rest in your hand like a delicate flower. Let the flower rest. Don't try to grab it and hold onto it. If you do this, you crush it.

The universe has heard you and your spirit and your soul knows when the time is right. It also has to be the right timing for your soulmate. They may have things they need to resolve before you can come together. Our human personalities don't always like the answer. I didn't like my soul's answer for more years than I wanted to count.

As you're waiting, let the flower rest, and do your own growing and evolving.

I hope you enjoyed Elmdea's true love story.

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