You're wondering how to recognize your soulmate? 10 signs of soulmate connection
If
you're wondering how to recognize your soulmate, you're in the right
place!
First off, are we on
the same page?
- You want a soulmate, not just
a date
- You have a pretty good idea of
what a soulmate is
- You're dating, or you're
otherwise conscious about your search.
3. is important. Sure,
you may meet
your soulmate in your living room (I know someone who did
- funny huh?) but chances are, that won't happen. You need to be conscious,
so that every decision you make takes you closer to what you want
during your true love search.
Does this make sense to you? Great!
Now you're ready to focus on how to recognize your soulmate. Dating
tips on how to notice... soulmate signs.
Open
to mystery of your soul...
"Soulful marriages are often
odd on the surface." - Thomas Moore
To
actively work on how recognize your soulmate, you must open your heart and your mind.
You want a soul connection. Souls are mysterious things... so open
yourself to mystery.
My relationship
advice? Define your preferences, yes. But don't lock yourself in with a
laundry list. Tap into your intuition. Cultivate that
little voice inside. Feel deeply. Open widely. Use the following
questions as a guide.
How
to recognize your soulmate: 10 soulmate signs
"Our
soulmates seldom appeal to our personality - our ego. That's why they
are called soulmates rather than egomates." Carolyn G. Miller, Soulmates
The characteristics of
a soulmate relationship manifest and deepen over time. Use these questions as a 'dating
filter'. Return to them often.
If you're on the positive
side over the long-term, then I'd say: way to go! You've
created a soulmate.
1.
Comfortable... or tense?
Are
you comfortable in your sweetie's presence? Or do you feel tense,
nervous or walking on eggshells? When it comes to how to recognize your
soulmate, comfort is key.
Soulmates are souls
we've known many times before in past lifetimes. Over the centuries,
we've worked out our differences, so what's left over is love.
If
you're fortunate enought to meet someone with whom you have a natural,
loving relationship from the get-go, then you're going to feel this as
an unusual comfort level. A
low hum. A peace and calm in your heart. A quiet certainty. A
curiosity. Safety in their presence.
There may not even be sparks
right away, but perhaps there's a quiet pull. Another tip
on how to recognize your soulmate is paying attention to coincidence.
Did something put you in each other's path - yet again? As
if your soul was waiting for you to notice?
A
friend described the small things she and her (now) soulmate noticed
about each other. He first noticed that she made tea the same way he
did: "I've never met
anyone that did that, except me." They both heated the
cups first. Over time, these small things multiplied into an easy,
comfy living arrangement.
2.
Energized... or blocked?
Sometimes,
I find it hard to
describe how I feel. If this is you, that makes how to
recognize your soulmate tricky!
When I'm confounded,
what I do is focus on my body sensation. My body never lies. Depending
on how sensitive you are, you may realize the truth about someone, the
first time you meet... just by listening to your body.
In your darling's
presence, how does your
body feel? Alive? Energized? Invigorated? Or do you have
an aching pull at your heart, like a pulling down?
Do you feel warm? Or cold? Does
your throat throb, as if words are stuck there? Are there sharp pangs
in your chest? Do you feel tired or drained after spending time with
them?
Here's another dating
tip on how to recognize your soulmate: do you have energy to burn? Or
do you get sick alot? Is there an expansive warmth in your chest, like
a pulling up?
Pay attention when
you're dating. Your body
always knows. Sometimes, even before you do.
3.
Clarity... or confusion?
When
we're on a date, we're taking in and interpreting data all the time. Have you ever met anyone who was
confusing to you?
But not in a way you can pinpoint? When that happens, pay attention!
You're getting important information on how to recognize your soulmate.
It could be that
someone's body language
or facial expression doesn't match their words. Or their
life stories don't quite 'gel'. Or their online profile isn't congruent
with their personality. Or they project something about themselves
onto you.
In a dating situation, this
stuff can be crazy-making! And, in the short time of a
first date, it's very difficult to discern in the moment.
Here's another point
of view. Linda Brady, in her book Discovering
Your Soul Mission says that heady emotion, confusion and a
sense of 'here we go
again' dread
is what she calls 'karmic
warning bells.'
It may feel like falling in love, but what may really be happening is
we're being primed for a
major karmic insight. What
is karma?
Here's a big clue on how to recognize your soulmate. A soulmate relationship won't be
confusing. There will be clarity, congruency and
consistency. If confusion does arise with a soulmate, it won't last
long.
4.
Confidence... or anxiety?
How
do you feel about this person, from one meeting to the next? In between dates, do you feel
anxious? Abandoned? Uncertain? Or do you feel very clear
and confident that you'll see each other again?
Jen Schefft (of The
Bachelor fame), said that when she met her now husband, there was no question that they'd see each
other again. A friend of mind who met her soulmate in a
chance meeting (after being stood up!) said of her sweetie "he's never disappointed me".
This will be the same
for you. There will be no
muddiness, no long silences between meetings, no ambivalance.
No 'come close' - 'go away'. Over the long-term, your experience with a
soulmate won't increase your anxiety, it will alleviate it. Or if you do go through a rough
patch, you'll work cooperatively together, to get through
it.
5.
Growth-oriented... or 'same old'?
Do
you re-create the same
relationship in different people again and again? This is
another trigger on how to recognize your soulmate.
Clairvoyant Edgar
Cayce calls soulmates 'helpmates', in that soulmates are brought together to
help one another grow. Is your relationship inspired and
growth oriented? Or does it feel heavy and 'same-old'?
As a karmic
astrologer, I take an
active approach to my own soul growth. From my karmic
astrology
chart, I can get a very good idea of my 'soul mission' or 'soul
purpose' in life, and what I'm here to learn. So even when I was
single, I worked on this, knowing that my soulmate would be more likely
to find me, when I'm doing my soul's
mission.
For
example, exploring emotion in a unique way is my mission. Something
that (as an MBA in corporate) isn't easy for me! But from which I have
grown immensely. This
site is part of my path. As is my novel, Moondance.
Knowing
and committing to your own soul growth is the best way to magnetize a
soulmate that I know.
What
you learn about yourself, will give rich clues on how to recognize your
soulmate. Whether you're single and looking, or looking to energize the
relationship you have - go
where the growth is!
6.
Expansive... or restrictive?
Does
your relationship have an inspirational quality to it? An expansive
feeling? Do you both bring something to the other, that helps each of you be bigger
than you might have been on your own?
Do you brainstorm and
solve problems in unique ways? A
friend describes how she (an artist) works with her husband (an
engineer) to solve problems. They come at things from different
perspectives. Together, they come up with unique solutions.
Another friend who was
dating her soulmate (they're now married) said early on in their
relationship: "He always
wants to celebrate."
How to recognize your
soulmate? Remember this: a
soulmate is a creative connection,
an expansive energy focused on growth. Together, the world is bigger,
our goals may be broader, and we may do things we thought we'd never
do. Does your
relationship feel like this? Would you like it to?
7.
Win-win... or win-lose?
Here's
another tip on how to recognize your soulmate. When you argue, or even
when you decide where to see a movie or what to have for dinner, do you
feel as if one of you is
the 'winner' and the other the 'loser'?
Or, do you both work
towards a 'win-win' compromise? When
you're together,
do you feel that you bring out the hidden strengths in the other? Or do
you exploit each other's weaknesses? Do you feel as if you have to
leave most of
yourself at home, because you're afraid of being crushed?
I'm not saying that you have to
be perfect all the time. But
on balance, soulmate relationships tend to be win-win. Even if there is
compromise (of course there will be), on balance, the relationship
gives - to each of you - far more than it takes.
8.
Sexual passion... or obsession / vacuum?
How to recognize your soulmate -
in bed?! Now
I have nothing against wildly great sex. I also think sexual frequency
is a personal issue, and as long as both partners are in sync (or
working to get there), that's the main thing.
But let's be honest
here. Is your sex life a
natural, exciting extension of your healthy relationship? How
do you feel after sex? Safe? Intimate? Abandoned? Used? Controlled?
Powerful? Powered over?
Sex can also be a powerful karmic
trigger. Linda
Brady talks about a client who had an affair with a man who worked with
her husband. This was completely out of character for her. In this
case, the sex was an
enormous magnet that pulled them together, to resolve a past life
conflict. Once they recognized this, the attraction dissolved.
On the other hand, the
sense of safety,
security, expansiveness, fun... and yes passion is the
hallmark of soulmate sex. Yum! :-)
9.
Cooperation... or power struggle?
Long-term:
how to recognize your soulmate? Every relationship needs to work
through conflict, and each has their own style. So I hope you'll release any ideas you have that
soulmate relationships are perfect and without conflict.
That's not true!
When soulmates
encounter conflict, though, there's a spirit of cooperation. There's a willingness to work
together.
The process isn't fraught with ultimatum-throwing, name-calling,
threats of abandonment or physical abuse. Or, if you know you don't
fight fair - do you both have a willingness to learn new habits?
I believe that we all have things to learn and
stuff to work through - or we wouldn't be here. For
example, relationship expert Harville
Hendrix
(founder of Imago Relationship Therapy) talks about 'power-struggle' as
an inevitable stage of a relationship and offers ways to work through
it. What distinguishes a soulmate relationship is the level of
collaboration.
How to recognize your
soulmate? How willing is
s/he? For
example, a friend who's now married to her soulmate reports that
whenever they've had landmark discussions, "he's the one who initiates
it." She's here to work on communication. So by extending himself, he
encourages her to grow... and so does the relationship.
10.
Purpose-driven... or fate?
Long-term:
how to recognize your soulmate? Are
each of you clear about why you're here, and where you're going? Or
are you immersed in the 'big feeling' and the 'day to day'
without taking a look at the 'big picture'.
Is your relationship
tumbling wildly, without direction, or are you clear why you are
together? Do you believe
'fate' brought you together (and that 'fate' is bigger than both of
you?)
or do you understand what each of you bring to the other? Want a tip on
how to recognize your soulmate? Do each of feel as if you have a
purpose in life?
Of course, there needs
to be sparks and passion. We need this to bond with someone. Long-term
though, true soulmates
are each conscious
of who they are, and why they're here. They know where they're going
and have decided to join with someone who knows that about themselves,
too.
In
a long-term relationship, how to recognize your soulmate? With a
soulmate, there's an opening to individual purpose. There's mutual
support of each other's purpose. There's a rich, ever-evolving union
between two people who continually choose to be together, for reasons
beyond the legal document and the kids.
11.
How to recognize your soulmate... BONUS
All the above... and shared
legacy? Now if you have all of these things going for
you, you fly through the criteria in the soulmate
quiz,
AND the two of you also work together for a greater purpose, then
according to American clairvoyant Edgar Cayce, you may not only be
soulmates, but twin souls
(twin spirit).
For example, Cayce and his wife were soulmates. But his twin spirit was his
secretary, Gladys, who documented his work, helping him
bring it to the world.
Does
your relationship measure up... sort of?
Still
not sure how to recognize your soulmate? Disappointed? Don't be! You're
in the majority. Remember:
there are riches to be had in every relationship. In
each, we're at a different stage of what I call the 'soulmate
continuum'. While we can't always control how far 'up' the continuum we
travel with another in this life, we always have control of which way
it travels.
Some folks are able to transform
their challenging 'karmic' relationships' into soulmated
ones in this lifetime. In her book, Linda Brady tells how she and her
husband overcame his infidelity
early in their relationship. It wasn't easy. But they worked together
to do it. They've been together now over
20 years.
Should you stay or go?
I
can't answer that for you as I don't know enough about you and am not a
relationship advice expert. But I encourage you to read more, and do
whatever you can to empower
yourself.
If you're up against this
question, I also encourage you to work with a trusted
relationship expert. In
fact, this could be the very work that you need
to do to attract your soulmate, in your next relationship (or transform
the one you have). Wouldn't that
be cool?
It's true. We
may not be able to create soulmates in every lover we meet - in this
life anyway. But knowing how to recognize your soulmate is a start. A step in the right direction.
In the meantime, we can learn from every experience. We can embrace our
soul... and the more we do this, the more likely that we'll encounter
soulmates on our path.
I
sincerely hope you enjoyed my dating tips on how to
recognize your soulmate!
Take me from How
to recognize your soulmate
to:
Finding
your soulmate -
Serious about finding your soulmate? Why dating sites aren't enough...
Online dating tips
- 10 online dating tips you need to know if you're really
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