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The Soulmate Site
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An addictive spin on life, love, and the nature of reality

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Does online dating mess with fate?

February 20th, 2013
Fate: The development of events outside a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. Destiny. Lot. Doom. Kismet.”

The word ‘fate’ has a heaviness to it, like a long sigh. Can you feel it?

It says that our lives are already written. That struggle as we may, we will not influence our inevitable path. That our purpose in life is to grit our teeth and bear it. Give up our power. Like a pebble in the ocean, swept into the tide.

Are our lives are controlled by people, governments and universal forces outside of our control? I don't think so. We may not be able to control everything around us — but we have absolute control over our responses.

On surrender and transformation

“We know the motion of our true nature by the open embrace and empty surrender and acceptance of everything as it is.”
– Julie Sarah Powell

What might naturally follow this type of surrender is despair. However, surrendering our power to outside forces is different than surrendering to the reality of our lives. Surrendering to what is in this moment, surrendering to our lives and our natures feels different.

By accepting and embracing what is, and by opening our hearts to what could be, surrender leads not to despair, but to a juicy, open-hearted state of being. One that is expansive, and re-creates everything around us. If not the facts: how we see them. Which is the singular choice that changes our hearts.

With this view, painful events of our lives may be seen (with time) as transformational instead of punitive. Expansive, instead of constrictive.

And we may see ourselves as the powerful beings that we are.

Karma, and it's many names

“To hold, you must first open your hand. Let go.”
– Lao Tzu

The idea of karma as a ‘boomerang’ of fatalistic punishing (or rewarding) energy is overly simplified and incomplete.

American clairvoyant Edgar Cayce's thousands of life readings speak to karma. His work say in no uncertain terms that our karma is not written in stone. Read his material, and you'll also realize that karma is much subtler, symbolic than you might imagine.

As Cayce says, difficult experiences in life are often designed to tenderize our hearts. We are always at choice on how to respond, and do have the power to shift the outcome of our lives when we a higher choice.

Call this process transforming karma, raising your vibration, conscious forgiveness, enlightenment, changing your brain's neuropathways — no matter. Empowering perspectives, thinking, feeling, actions — lead to an empowered, profound experience of life.

How do we do this? First, accept what is. Do your best to resolve conflict, to re-pay obligation, because the universe seeks balance. Apply patience, approach life with kindness, forgiveness and as much love as your can muster. Feel what you need to feel. Let it go. Repeat.

Connecting in the modern world

“Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.”
– Mary Ellen Kelly

Generations ago, we relied solely on or families, tribes or community for introductions to potential partners.

Today, those of us who have chosen to live during these times, face lightning fast changes and much choice. The internet is part of the fabric of our lives now, a choice that we can make. Serendipity can do its magic online, as well as it can at a tribal gathering.

I've seen the internet bring many couples together. Our task is to sort through the fray and decide whether or not the internet is the best way for us as individuals.

Karmic astrology and online dating

As many of you know, I'm a karmic astrologer. I don't do one on one coaching, but I do have some new resources cooking for you and have a few thoughts on online dating and astrology.

You see, the internet is an Aquarian symbol (Uranus and the 11th house are also Aquarian). Aquarius is progressive, leading edge and humanitarian, often offering new inventions meant to (in their highest potential) change humanity.

Do you have Aquarius or the 11th house strongly in your chart? If so, online dating might be a great option for you. Do your own chart here.

If you do your chart, pay particular attention if your North Node (also called True Node, or soul mission), Saturn, or if any other planets lie in Aquarius, and/or the 11th house. If this is the case, the internet is completely aligned with this energy of your soul. If you're drawn to it — go for it.

However! Even if you do have a lot of Aquarian influence in your personality or soul mission, this doesn't mean that you're ‘fated’ to meet your soulmate on the internet. Think of Aquarius as a symbolic energy, rather than a specific prediction.

Aquarius can also mean local politics, philanthropy, science, any groups whose cause you resonate with. It also creates lovers from friends. So if you're heavy Aquarius, here are some ideas for you: see if you're drawn.

Bottom line: How do you feel about online dating?

“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.”
– Langston Hughes, poet

We attract more of how we feel deep down. So ask yourself: how to you feel about online dating?

Curiosity, a bit of nervousness but curious?
Heaviness and dread?
Excited? Open? Rarin' to go?
Willing to give it a shot?
Drawn? Like you know he or she is listening?

Your answer to this question — is the answer for you. For those who are open and willing, online dating is a perfectly valid option, a tool that is available to you. After all, you are a soul who has chosen to live at this time, in modern society. The internet is part of that experience, ready and waiting.

If you prefer to meet someone through serendipity that doesn't involve online dating, make THAT request of the universe. And — stay flexible when opportunities to meet people arise.

Gifts come in many packages

“The boldness of asking deep questions may require unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers.”
– Brian Greene

When you ask for love to come into your life, understand that it may come in a package or in a way that you may not have imagined.

Here's a story I heard a while back that conveys this. I'll use the word God here, but substitute your own word.

The story is about a man who was devoutly religious. His home was flooded, and he stood on the roof of his house seeking rescue. He knew in his heart that God would save him. A boat came by, and offered him a ride. He said no — that God would save him. Then another boat came, and another — he sent them away.

Just as his house was about to be submerged, a helicopter came by. He said no — God would save him.

Ultimately, he drowned. In the afterlife, he said: ‘I don't understand. I thought God would save me.’ The reply: ‘We sent you three boats and a helicopter, what do you want from us?’

Do know that as your heart opens and expands, you will continue to attract experiences that match the current vibration of your heart, and help you go deeper and transform and let go of any shadow residue that remains.

Feel what you need to feel. Let it go. Open your heart wider. Experience. Listen to music. Play with your pet. Read The Soulmate Site. And so on.

What is your fate?

“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our fate is supremely simple. It is to return to love. To meet every vast array of earthly experience we encounter (in the end), with love.

You chose this life, at this time in human history. To experience the earth. To step more fully into who you really are.

Whatever choices you make to create your soulmate in this lifetime are powerful (I remain in awe).

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